In college I felt competent. I have faced issues with insecurity & lack of self-esteem throughout my life. I have always identified as an outsider, one who struggles to belong or fit-in. I belonged in college. Growing up, if I went to college was never in question. I used to joke that I had Senioritis since Kindergarten, but I genuinely remember anticipating that time of life from the time I knew about the existence of College. There were moments, throughout my college years, where I would be walking to class and this feeling would wash over me “ This is my life, I’m in college, I made It”. It sounds corny but it always made me smile. I dreaded certain classes & at times was a master of procrastination but now I look back with such a feeling of nostalgia. Some might say that it is a bit ridiculous to be nostalgic for something that only ended a year and a half ago. But I am. When I posted a status on Facebook recently about missing college, someone commented saying I should go back. I immediately rolled my eyes when I read that comment. While it is a logical comment, it would not fix my predicament. Though I loved the classes and learning that I could get by going to Graduate School, what I am truly missing is that time of my life. A time that is finished. It is a lightning in a bottle experience that I am nostalgic for, It cannot be duplicated or re-experienced. It is over. I am particularly nostalgic for that time because I have not found the answer to What’s Next? I feel stagnant. I want to have an amazing life but I don’t know how. I have become a fearful person. I am scared to make mistakes. I am scared to live life and for it to plain suck. But what am I doing? Nothing. How stupid is that?! Very. But I don’t know where I belong now. I went through life going to school anticipating college and now it is over. I belonged in College. And it was great. And now what?
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
So I've been working as an extra. I don't have a regular job & have been trying to find something to do while I try not to put pressure on myself to figure life after college out ASAP. (it's almost been a year, so clearly it ain't ASAP). I live outside of Atlanta, so there is a lot of film & television projects happening here. One of the shows that films here is The Vampire Diaries. Last night one of the episodes I'd worked aired & you can see me really well! I even made it onto tumblr haha!
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Hey! yeah I know long time no blog! I am sharing a video today. It made me smile, and I hope it does the same for you! I had seen it posted on facebook but hadn’t checked it out. Well my cousin messaged it to me yesterday, and so I watched it! This little kid, who goes by the name Kid President, has a pep talk for you and me and everyone! It is so cute and so true!
Hope you enjoyed, Elissa! - ( Not cool Robert Frost! )
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Wilson Bethel is very, very pinteresting!
A GOLDEN COKER RETRIEVER- looks like a puppy when they are full grown!
Oops, I finished it in a day!
Monday, January 7, 2013
After Christmas we went up to the Mountains for a few days!
Duke, my grandfather’s boxer likes to sit by me on the loveseat!
Duke also likes to jump up on the recliner!
Joey’s Pancake House is a mandatory stop while in the mountains! My order- Reeses Pancakes and Coffee. If I’m extra hungry I will get a sausage biscuit too.
It snowed Saturday night and most of it melted overnight, but my mom and I took the Dogs outside while it was snowing Saturday night!
The Dog’s had to check the snow out!
Holding 2 leashes at once!
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Christmas 2012 was great. In my family, we wake up Christmas morning and my mom makes a big deal about me coming downstairs and seeing what Santa brought! It doesn’t matter that I’m 22 she always keeps the Spirit of Santa Claus alive. After we see what Santa brought, we open presents as a family.
Then we relax for a bit before getting ready to go down to the country to my Dad’s parents for Christmas. We always have Christmas Dinner at my grandparents, but this year my mom requested we have Christmas Brunch. (She had been planning to go up to her Dad’s on Christmas, but she ended up waiting till the next day). Christmas Brunch was great. My aunt cathy made these delicious sausage pinwheels that were addicting (I took a bag home with me and had them for supper that night and lunch the next day!). I had a good time with my cousins. I am closest with my cousin Katie, who is 5 1/2 months older than me. All of the older cousins always sit on the back porch, we always have fun chatting and teasing/telling stories about things that happened when we were younger. I say older cousins but we used to be the only ones, but now we have a 14 year old step-cousin and a 7 year old and a 3 year old cousin. We had a great time down in the country.
Me and Katie
My Grandmama and Granddaddy posing for a picture!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Blogger Gift Exchange!
Amy from Sweet Home Santa Barbara hosted a Blogger Gift Exchange over the holidays! We had been paired up as blogging pen pals this summer and she came up with a great idea to have a holiday gift exchange! Because I’ve failed at blogging lately I am just now blogging about the exchange but here goes!
I got paired up with Katie from Time of Your Life ! She sent me such a fun care package!