Monday, August 29, 2011


i've always had a hard time with friendships. i want them so desperately but the best friendships come naturally.
There are so many different types of friendships, and each should be taken and appreciated for what they are.
Some friends you don't see on a daily basis but you are okay with that and they are always there for you.
Other friendships you are with all the time, and see everyday, but it seems like whenever your not together your let down.
I don't know. I need sleep. And my thoughts should be clearer.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

procrastinating on blogging.

i keep wanting to blog, but i have trouble focusing my thoughts.
my mind goes from thought to thought too fast.
but i've decided oh well. i am just going to blog anyway.

Well. The Summer has flown by. But it has been pretty awesome. My whole summer has been awesome but the second half i might say has been just as good in a completely different way from the first half. The first half of my summer was spent at Duke University, at an internship with Duke Athletics, it was truly a dream come true, and it urged forward in thinking about life after graduation. But the second half of my summer, I have spent at home with family. I have spent time with both grandparents, i spent a few days down in the country with my dad's parents. and my family went up to my grandfathers in the mountains a couple of times. And one of my favorite things about this summer, has been spending time with my church family and really reconnecting with God. I am all too guilty of going through the motions some times. It is oh so good to get in touch with people of faith and laugh yourself silly all while discussing our faith. This is what I did after church today at Zaxby's with my College Ministry's small group. And today wasn't a one time occurrence. Thursday night, we were going to see Toy Story 3 at Atlantic Stations Free Movie in the Park. but they canceled it due to rain when it wasn't raining. But you know what I had some good conversations. We didn't even talk about our faith, but just spent time talking. anticlimatic and dissapointing that the movie didn't happen but still a good night. I am really excited about keeping connected with my college ministry during the school year. Our college ministry is starting a mentor program, where a college student is partnered with an adult in the church, someone our parent's age, but not our parent, to talk to, give us advice and build a relationship with. It's called the Raven Project, and I'm really excited about it. Our amazing College Ministry leader- Kristen( came up with the whole thing, and she came up with the name through her mission trip to India. I'm not gonna get this story right, so ask Kristen to tell you, but I know that while talking to a man in India, the man told her "ahh, they are your raven" A raven is someone who provides you nourishment when you need it, it comes from 1 Kings 17: 1-4. But I am real excited about the project, because I need someone to talk to and sometimes you just need someone other than your parents to talk to about your thoughts on things your going through, life changes. decisicons, etc.

Well I did about as good as I can about keeping my thoughts focused, but there ya go. So much more to say, but more for another day.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

birthday blues

today is my birthday. i'm 21.
but it scares me. I am about to start my senior year of college.
but in so many ways I still feel like a little girl.

I have had to start thinking about life after graduation and what that will entail.
it is all so overwhelming. and i wish my grandmother was here to see it all unfold.

she would know what to say to calm my nerves and make me feel like everything is going to be alright. no matter what happens.

but i guess i just to need to look to God, and ask him to help me feel his presence and hers in my life always, this year especially.