Cracker

October 5th. Friday would have been my grandparents’ 65th wedding anniversary. My Grandmother died 4 1/2 years ago. She was amazing. She was a preacher’s wife. That says a lot right there. My mom always said “Daddy’s got the license but Momma preaches anyway” She didn’t need a license to preach! When I was really little she gave me those little ritz crackers that had peanut butter in the middle. One time she gave me a whole box. My mom asked where I got them from, I told her grandmama and she asked “Grandmama marks? and I said “No Grandmama Cracker!” It didn’t take long for the Grandmama to drop and I called her “Cracker” my whole life. She died about a month and a half before my high-school graduation. As much as I wish she had been there for that graduation, I really missed her so much more when she was not there in person for my college graduation. I know she was there in spirit though. And I will just keep reminding myself that all the time when I wish she was here in person. She had this amazing nature about her and I feel like she would be so so amazing for me right now in my life. While everyone else seems to stress me out, even unintentionally, Cracker would have been such a wonderful guide as I try and figure out this new chapter of life. I hate that she won’t be there when I figure out my next step, when I fall in love and get married, when I have kids. My mom and I visited her grave a couple months ago. We know she is not there underneath that plaque and grass, we know she is in heaven, but it was a neat moment to go to the spot she was buried and talk with her for a minute.