Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween! 

Last year, I actually went trick-or-treating (yes I was 21, sorry I’m not sorry). I had a paper due the next day that I hadn’t started BUT it was Hallo-freakin-ween! Some of my friends decided to go out and I decided I really didn’t feel like starting my paper yet. It was cold, we didn’t stay out long and I eventually had to write that paper, but it was sure fun procrastinating! 

Caroline and Madison were the best grandma’s EVER. I just dressed up in their clothes as a basketball player. Taylor was a nerd and Ali was herself. 

This Halloween, I will be in charge of handing out the candy. I also want to go buy a pumpkin and roast some pumpkin seeds! Hope Y’all all have a Happy Halloween! 

t.swift & 22

Happy, Free, Confused, and Lonely at the same time. - Oh T. Swift How you capture my life in your lyrics. This is a lyric from her new song “22”. The song is not very deep and is pretty much a party anthem dedicated to Taylor’s best friends. BUT- it is still very relatable and super-catchy. 

HAPPY- I am generally a pretty happy person. So even though I have been struggling lately with this post-college life, I still overall would describe me as happy. Even though there have been a lot of days where I have definitely not been happy, I try not to focus on those. I AM happy I graduated college and I am happy that God has a purpose for my life, even if I have no idea the specifics right now. 

FREE- For the first time in my life, I do not have school tying me down. As stressful as not having a job and feeling lost in my search for one is, I should try and embrace this unique time of my life where I am FREE. 

CONFUSED- I am confused with life right now. I don’t know what my next step should be. I try to zone out because my thoughts are everywhere and I stress myself out otherwise. I am confused at the fact that I don’t have a plan right now. I never really thought about what would happen if I didn’t have things figured out after college. Sometimes I just want to turn back time, but I know that 1) that’s impossible and 2) I need to embrace this next chapter even if I am confused and scared and stressed about making a move, not having a job or a plan for what comes next. 

LONELY- I am Lonely. I am an only child, living at home again after graduating college. I lived by myself for most of college but there was always lots of people right nearby. My best friend doesn’t live close-by (and she has a next chapter). I miss having lots of people all around. 

I understand how it is to be all of these things at the same time but I am going to work damn hard to focus on the HAPPY! 

In her liner notes, Taylor dedicates "22" to ASHLEY, DIANNA, CLAIRE and SELENA

   

Top Left- Selena Gomez, T. Swift and Ashley Greene 

Top Right- T.Swift and Dianna Agron 

  

 Bottom Left- Claire Callaway and T. Swift Bottom Right- T.Swift and Selena Gomez. 

A good conversation

I have sucked at blogging lately. I know. I have been in a funk for awhile and lately even If I’ve had something I could possibly write about I didn’t want to. 

I have been struggling with figuring out what my next step should be in this post-college life. Should I work retail or waitress? I don’t really want to but maybe it would be good for me for awhile. What about something else. Maybe there is still something else out there. Whatever I do, I know I need to do something because I am approaching the point of shutting down. I need a routine. My current routine of a lot of nothing, is not working out well for me.  

I am in a Bible Study with a few ladies and it is really good for me. The ladies are 11 to 18 years older than me, but it doesn’t matter much. After our bible study, I went out to lunch with one of the ladies. We had a really great conversation about life and it was just good to get out and do something. In this funk of not having life after college figured out, I have not done much at all. So today felt really great to get out and just have a good conversation with someone. 

this is the new study we just started today in our bible study. It is a Beth Moore study of the Book of James. 

Confusion, Confidence and Clarity

I’ve been a bad blogger. I blogged once last week! I will try and do better. I guess I have felt at a loss for what to blog about, because I really don’t have anything going on right now. I still haven’t figured out what my role in “the real world” is. I think about how hard I worked last year, I definitely had a killer workload and I thought my thesis was never going to be done. But I finished it and everything else and sometimes I can’t help but think what for? I slaved and stressed myself out last year to get to this year and ... For What? I did all that and where did it get me? I know that for whatever reason this utter confusion and lack of clarity on life is not without a purpose but honestly it really sucks. I keep telling myself that before I can find that next chapter I need to work on my self-confidence, because this entire post-grad experience has really kind of opened the door to how big of a problem that is for me. But truthfully besides admitting that and praying about it, I have no idea how I can work on and improve my confidence. I have always struggled with worrying about the future and the unknown but now I feel like I have to do something or else I am going to wake up and realize how much time has passed and I still haven’t found my role in the real world. 

Source: thequotefactory.com via Elissa on Pinterest

*Disclaimer- I know this post is a real jumbled mess of thoughts! 

Cracker

October 5th. Friday would have been my grandparents’ 65th wedding anniversary. My Grandmother died 4 1/2 years ago. She was amazing. She was a preacher’s wife. That says a lot right there. My mom always said “Daddy’s got the license but Momma preaches anyway” She didn’t need a license to preach! When I was really little she gave me those little ritz crackers that had peanut butter in the middle. One time she gave me a whole box. My mom asked where I got them from, I told her grandmama and she asked “Grandmama marks? and I said “No Grandmama Cracker!” It didn’t take long for the Grandmama to drop and I called her “Cracker” my whole life. She died about a month and a half before my high-school graduation. As much as I wish she had been there for that graduation, I really missed her so much more when she was not there in person for my college graduation. I know she was there in spirit though. And I will just keep reminding myself that all the time when I wish she was here in person. She had this amazing nature about her and I feel like she would be so so amazing for me right now in my life. While everyone else seems to stress me out, even unintentionally, Cracker would have been such a wonderful guide as I try and figure out this new chapter of life. I hate that she won’t be there when I figure out my next step, when I fall in love and get married, when I have kids. My mom and I visited her grave a couple months ago. We know she is not there underneath that plaque and grass, we know she is in heaven, but it was a neat moment to go to the spot she was buried and talk with her for a minute. 

Books! Books! Books!

I have mentioned before that my Dad sells books. However when I tell people we have a lot of books, I don't think anyone really gets just how many we have! 

Let me give you a look into our basement and my Dad's office. 

The first two sections of 16 ft wall to wall bookshelves in our basement.

The end of the wall to wall bookshelves. 

Stacks upon stacks of books in my Dad's office

My Dad's office from the doorway

SEE! I really really mean it when i say we have A LOT of books! My dad sells his book on Amazon and has over 9,000 books listed for sale. 

Here is a screenshot of my Dad's storefront on Amazon. His sellername is emarks13 and if you go to www.amazon.com/shops/emarks13 you can browse through all of my Dad's 9,234 listings! He has great competitive prices! I'd love for you to go check his stuff out! 

Get Out And Vote!

Disclaimer: this post might ruffle a few feathers, might cause me to lose followers when I don't have many to begin with. I genuinely hope it doesn't BUT if it happens so be it,  because this is important!

The presidential election is less than 40 days away. Voting is very important. As easy as it can be to be fed-up with the politics of politics, we must vote to make our voices be heard! If we wish to have any say in what goes on in our government we must vote for the people we feel will best represent us.

  If you are not registered to vote, take the time and go to www.GottaVote.com 

There are many reasons why I will be voting to re-elect President Barack Obama. At the core of all of those reasons is the fact that he cares about the entire population of the country, not just the well-off. He doesn't believe the government is a cure-all pill for its citizens but he damn well believes it should help the lives of ALL of the people of the country. 

I ask for you to take five minutes out of your day to listen to Eva Longoria's speech from the Democratic National Convention. I believe she does a marvelous job expressing why she is for Barack Obama. 

GO OUT AND VOTE!