when you're a kid

When you're a kid deciding what you want to 'do' is complete fantasy. Because it is fantasy it is all fun and imagination.  When I was a kid I thought about being

~ A Lawyer

~  A Chef

~ An Interior Designer

~ A Basketball Commentator

Now, as I sit here with only a semester standing between me and "the real world", figuring our what I want to do seems a lot less fun and fantasy. I have always been a passionate person, but for some reason my vocation is far from obvious. I have to remember to have patience and to somehow try to not become passive when the stress gets to me. What I mean is that I need to not be afraid of making the wrong decision because I know that whatever happens God is in control. 

This I know for sure...

So I've reached a time in my life where I need to answer that big question. you know the one every kid is asked all the damn time. What do you want to be when you grow up? Well that has now turned into What are you doing after graduation? and that question is less imaginative and more wanting an actual answer. 

I don't know. I am looking to go into College Athletics and I'm looking specifically at Sports Information and Marketing Jobs. I am also open to sportswriting jobs. I don't know. Some days I am very confident that I want to go into College Athletics but then other days I second guess myself. It's a big decision and I want to get it right. So while thinking about this a week or so ago, I had a thought that has stuck with me. I want to be a mom.  Obviously, not right now as I'm not in a relationship. While I sometimes question what I want to do career-wise, I know without a doubt that I want to be a mother. 

I've always known that I wanted to be a mother one day, so I was a bit confused as to why this seemed to be a revelation. I think that this thought stuck with me, because I think I am a lot less career-oriented than I thought. I know (as well as someone who hasn't experienced motherhood can) that motherhood is difficult but I also know that it will be rewarding. Growing up I spent countless hours thinking of baby names (still do).  I dream of the day where I find out I'm pregnant, and the day I hold my first-child.